Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize