It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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