I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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