Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
