And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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