apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
