O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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