did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Found your dick twin last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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