i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
