the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
