just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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