I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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