I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize