Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
