you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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