I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
