i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
