my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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