I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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