We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
