PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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