Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize