Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
