Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize