just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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