Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
