im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
