I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
