You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
