I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
