I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
