This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
