Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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