..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize