I puked a lego.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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