Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
