You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well