Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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