I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.