im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
