Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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