I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
