I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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