Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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