Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
