Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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