I accidentally burped into my bong.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
