Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
