i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
