this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
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I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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