I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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