I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
