I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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