I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.