I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
