Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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