He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
