i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
