Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize