dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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