I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Damn victory sex feels great
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize