i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Non-Jews are for practice
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There's even glitter on my cock...
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