U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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