I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
